So here I recline in the Hampton Inn off exit 31 of Hwy 99 in Altoona PA and what a day it's been. We planted the seed for this trip over a year ago when David was watching his video, "I Love Big Trains". A portion of the video was about the Horseshoe Curve. Horseshoe Curve is an engineering feat whereby the downhill momentum of a train is used to move it into and around a horseshoe shaped mile-and-a-half of railroad track. One day we asked David if he'd like to go see the Horseshoe curve and - guess what he said? So here we are in Altoona, PA. Thanks to much planning by my wife, the day was a smash hit. We started off with a 50 minute train ride around the Horseshoe Curve at 10 AM and then spent about 2 hours in the Altoona Railroader's Memorial Museum. This was followed by a family coma back in the hotel that lasted from 2:30 to 4 PM. All in all a great day that will provide fond recall in years to come.
Overall David is doing pretty well. Karen and I decided that it would be in David's best interest if he went to a transitional Kindergarten. I believe I've mentioned this before, but David is off the top end of the intellect scale, but he struggles with the finer points of some social skills. Ultimately David will have to adhere to all the rules, norms, constraints and cheers as every other person, but right now if we can avoid a rough patch by allowing him a little more time to mature socially, then why not?
Camden walks at his own discretion these days and what a wonderful thing that is. He still reverts to crawling if he's feeling lazy, but as he becomes more proficient in his stride he chooses to walk more and more. To see Camden take his own deliberate steps warms our hearts and encourages us in other ways. On more than one occasion I've been asked - as well as wondered myself รข€“ what am I supposed to do differently for our special needs son? I struggled for many months trying to answer this question, but could never really come up with a crisp answer. You love your kids and you parent them. There's nothing different in the loving or parenting part for a special needs child. Sure there's a TON of different things you might need to do educationally, therapeutically or medically, but there's nothing different in the loving or parenting part; that you just do. And when I figured that out, a lot of the anxiety associated with the newness of our situation simply vanished.
Karen hasn't given up on any of us yet. Those of you with kids either know or probably remember hitting the pause button on one's own life when the kids were young. I believe that pause button has a much greater impact on women who leave the workforce to assume the stay-at-home mother roll. This is hard on Karen and at the same time the kids are our pride and joy. Since Camden is in preschool 2 days a week now Karen actually gets a day - or half a day - here and there with some free time. Of course that free time is spent getting things done that still have to get done, but the thought of my wife getting so much as 20 minutes to drop by a bagel place and drink a cup of coffee with a bagel puts a smile on my face far and wide. Time and progress will yield Karen easier days in the future, but right now we all love her simply because she loves us so much and it shows.
So how's Jim? Frustrated. Discouraged. Angry. Fortunate. And it's that last one I mustn't forget. The PT is painful and fruitful. I am making good progress. The fact of the matter is if I forgo the narcotics I spend a majority of each day in significant pain and discomfort and that encourages discouragement. Some days I choose to fight the pain with non-narcotics and intense focus on work. On those days, after we get the kids in bed I literally do not move for about 2 hours before we go to bed. If I do choose to take the Oxycontin, I can function nearly normally.
I will close with this. Once you gain a certain intimacy with cycling it becomes a metaphor for life. As a cyclist you learn to keep pedaling when you are 50 miles from home and there are some very loud voices telling you to stop. I feel like I'm 1000 miles from home right now and the voices are screaming, but I've no intention to stop pedaling.
Every day above ground is a good one.
